The One About the Boy Who Speaks in Constellations But is Really a Black Hole

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Don’t do it.

Please don’t do it.

When he texts you asking for a pic, you don’t have to do it. And when he invites you to come lay with him in bed, you don’t have to do it. And when he begs you to peel off your shirt, you don’t have to do it.

Please don’t do it.

His touch will feel sincere and comfortable. His fingers will trace along your skin and send chills up your spine. His words will drip of honey, and he will spout out “I love you”s with his fingers crossed as you build up his ego with every kiss. And his only intention is to dance in the sheets, because tomorrow he won’t remember the flakes of gold in your brown eyes, or the story you told about being so stressed about the math test. He won’t text you good morning, or remember your birthday.

And I pray you see it.
I pray you realize that you can breathe without him.

Because kid, you can’t find your worth in a boy. You find your worth in yourself, then you find a boy who is worthy of you.

So stop giving out discounts! You are more precious than diamonds. There is not anyone else in the world like you. You have a scar on your knee that is shaped like Europe, and your nose has these cute little wrinkles when you laugh, and when you are super passionate about something you begin to ramble. And if he doesn’t see that you are made of a complete collection of beautiful things, and if he doesn’t go out of his way to appreciate you everyday then he doesn’t deserve you. So stop giving your heart away for free.

Love yourself enough to guard it. Respect yourself enough to protect it. Do everything you can to keep it safe. Because a girl like you should never have a tear soaked pillow at 3am.

You are powerful and you are worthy not because he finds you aesthetically pleasing. Not because he loves you. But because you are you.

So just send back a read receipt, and remove him from snap. Deny his invitations under the covers and make eye contact when you grab his hand to pull back down your shirt.

You deserve better. Stay strong. You are brave. You are significant. And you are capable.

This is not the love you are homesick for.

 

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