I cried tonight. I read an email that delivered me with some unexpecting news and I buried my face in my hands. I was angry. And sad. And just totally bummed.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever looked forward to something and have wanted something so bad just for it to slip through your fingers like water? Hand.
It’s only the second day of the new year and here I was calling to the billions of stars and asking the Creator the ever so popular single word question, “Why?”. This is a place where I found myself a lot during 2015 and there I was all over again. Turns out there’s no magic in midnight.
God has something better. They say. His timing is perfect. They say. But to be honest, I feel cheated. Man, I feel like all these opportunities were put in my path, and each one of them were the wrong direction. And I feel stuck. Like I don’t know what I’m doing. Because for the first time in my life, I have no real priorities. I’m just here… in the state of in between. In this middle phase purgatory of adulthood and I’m so stressed and scared about this year.
But what they say is true. I know that. But still feel this. I know this isn’t forever, its just right now.
It’s all going to be okay.
After spilling my heart and some tears on the dinner table, with my parents wrapping me up with comforting words and hugs, my mom took me out to get a Starbucks. Sometimes you can’t control what happens in life, but you can control the coffee you drink and the conversations you have in the car. It was the perfect remedy to my panicked soul.
I’m writing this now thinking there might be some of you out there whose 2016 is already not going according to plan and your mind is relentlessly overreacting and wareing itself out with worry. Tonight I hope you can find the antidote is in a cup of coffe and in remembering that there is something beautiful about a billion stars being held steady by a God who knows what He is doing.
So until He opens the next door, I will praise him in the hallway.
God has something better.
His timing is perfect.
I know I will be thanking Him eventually.