I have a letter that hangs on a wall in my closet that I wrote in 5th grade. I dont know how I even still have it, but I do.
“I want to be somebody. I want to be someone that everybody likes. Even the people that are mean. I want to change my image. I want to be more country. I want to win the lottery. I wish nothing would change. But as we grow older everything is going to change. It is alreadying changing right now, but some people can’t see it. Right now as this very moment some things in my life are going to change. My dad might get fired, my mom is trying to get a job as a teachers, softball try outs (might not get the base I want), my friends (they are decreasing), and I’m trying really hard to get to sixth grade this year. Though it might seem like I have no problems, thats because I keep them hidden all inside. I want those problems to go away.”
Jessie Golata, 5th Grade – Talbert
For me, this note is inspiring. At first glance, each sentence brings a sense of insecurity and fear that is wrapped in a bow of uncertainty. I was in a place of stuggling to figure out who I wanted to be, as well as trying to deal with all the moving parts happening around me.
You see, for 5th and 6th graders, the drama is in the details. Life might be good and perfect all around them but they hyperfocus on minor pieces and stress over those things. We were all there once. Where everything in life seemed to be a big deal and thats okay. When I read this note, I find understanding for my Sixers. I don’t want to squander the things that seem important to them. I want to embrace them. Relate to them. But also remind them that theres still a bigger picture to paint.
Man, what a difficult age of testing friendships, judging yourself, of dreaming big, and scarying easy. Change was the monster in my closet. I look back now and can see what a warrior I was. And I’m encouraged by what my childhood self was able to overcome.
This note is just a reflection of where some of my Sixers are right now and also, maybe where I find myself sometimes. Just dealing with doubt and sometimes confusions. You just gotta know there’s always something next. Something different. Something better. It’s coming. Today might be hard, but I promise something is on its way to you. The days will start to shrink your problems. Theres a promise in knowing that change is a constant, and where you are now is not forever. So hold on. Just wait. Cause one day your going to look back on today and read the letter you wrote about how you felt and you’re going to be so proud, and so encouraged by what you have conquered.